Therapeutic tools: Accepting is the first step in change

Therapeutic tools: Accepting is the first step in change

Allowing and accepting emotion is important in working with emotion and the first step in changing it. This involves observing it, welcoming it, acknowledging it is there and accepting it. Then it is important to step back from it and experience it like a wave,...
Therapeutic tools: The roots of emotional disturbance

Therapeutic tools: The roots of emotional disturbance

In Undoing Aloneness, Diana Fosha describes how, from the perspective of attachment theory, emotional safety is not being alone with frightening experiences. Emotional disturbance has its roots in being alone with overwhelming experiences in the earliest years of...
Therapeutic tools: The skill of mentalizing

Therapeutic tools: The skill of mentalizing

The capacity to ‘mentalize’ is important for regulating emotions and managing relationships. Mentalizing involves paying mindful attention to your own and others mental states and involves more complex understanding of behaviour in relation to the mental states that...
Therapeutic tools: Activating new emotions to create change

Therapeutic tools: Activating new emotions to create change

Focusing on unmet emotional needs mobilises primary adaptive emotions to create change. Emotions guide us to problem-solve and into actions to get needs met. The adaptive sadness of grief can help extinguish feelings of loneliness and unworthiness. Accessing needs and...
Therapeutic tools: Suffering in held in memory

Therapeutic tools: Suffering in held in memory

Every emotion involves a specific set of needs. When needs are met, experience flows and emotions are fleeting. If we feel shame but at the same time, we are validated by someone meaningful we gain reassurance and feel comfortable and confident again. If needs are not...
Therapeutic tools: Getting needs met

Therapeutic tools: Getting needs met

Mental health problems often arise as a result of the following processes: Disclaiming one’s emotions; preserving past emotional responses in the present; emotion dysregulation (distress) and the construction of particular narratives or stories about oneself (being...