In order to heal, we must learn how to feel. Les Greenberg describes how states of feeling are different from states of thinking. To feel is a slow process that requires us to slow down. To create a space for feeling when we become aware of a feeling, we can use the following four steps as a guide:
- Stay gently with what you are feeling
- Make space for it in your body and simply feel it
- Put some words to the feeling (describe it)
- Receive and welcome the feeling
- Feel it fully
In a process known as ‘focusing’ we guide out attention to the ‘felt sense’ of sensations in the body that provides information about situations, thoughts and feelings. In focusing we go to the place where we feel our feelings, stay with this felt sense and follow where it goes. We can begin by simply asking the question ‘What is it inside?’ and then wait for an answer. Then we can express the felt sense in words – allowing the words to come from the felt sense, encouraging what is important to come up through bodily sensing.