Every emotion involves a specific set of needs. When needs are met, experience flows and emotions are fleeting. If we feel shame but at the same time, we are validated by someone meaningful we gain reassurance and feel comfortable and confident again. If needs are not met, we get stuck in suffering. To deal with this suffering people form ‘emotional schematic memories’ to deal with this suffering. These memories hold the unmet needs and the emotional pain and act as a warning system that can be very exaggerated to protect us. This system becomes activated when we are in a situation similar to the one in which the original pain happened. People can also protect themselves through secondary emotions like anger, hopelessness or anxiety. These cover over the primary emotion but create an imprisonment in bad feelings.