Focusing on unmet emotional needs mobilises primary adaptive emotions to create change. Emotions guide us to problem-solve and into actions to get needs met. The adaptive sadness of grief can help extinguish feelings of loneliness and unworthiness. Accessing needs and new emotions helps change old beliefs – not through rationally disputing them – but through emotional experiences that disconfirm the beliefs. A person cannot belief they are unlovable when they have an having the experience of being deserving of love. In the same way a person cannot shrink away in fear while thrusting forth in assertive anger at the same time.