A baby is like raw material for a self. Each baby has a unique set of genes that allow for many possibilities. The body is programmed to develop in certain ways, but these are not automatic or pre-determined. Many of the baby’s systems are ready to go but many more are incomplete and require human interaction to get going. This makes sense because it allows each baby to adapt to the unique culture that they are born into.
The systems inside the body communicate through chemical and electrical signals. The body is constantly trying to adapt to the environment and stay within a comfortable level of arousal. In the early months the baby is establishing a ‘set-point’ – a level of arousal that it will return to throughout life. When things go above or below that point the systems work to get back to that level. For example, babies of depressed mothers get used to low levels of stimulation and that becomes their ‘set-point’. Babies of agitated mothers get used to feeling over-aroused and having their feelings just ‘explode’ out of them at different times. Alternatively, they might switch their feelings off so that they can cope. A baby who is well looked after have the experience of someone responding when they are over or under aroused and bringing them back to a comfortable state when this happens. When others do it for them first, they then learn to do it for themselves. The emotions are the least hardwired in all the animal kingdom and most influenced by experience.
In the first weeks, temperament is already apparent. Some babies may be born more reactive to stimulation than others. This may be the result of experiences in the womb, genes, or a combination of both. Research has shown that a serotonin gene is linked to greater sensitivity in the social world. Babies who have these genes are called ‘orchids’, while the majority are called ‘dandelions’. Orchids are more sensitive to harsh parenting and may end up prone to depression or antisocial behaviour if they are exposed to difficult circumstances. However, if they are well-cared for they tend to have the least depression and bad behaviour, tending instead to be successful and socially skilled.
Outcomes depend much more on the parents than on the personality of the baby. Research has shown that even the most difficult babies do fine when they receive responsive parenting that takes care of their needs. There may be no such thing as a ‘difficult’ baby, but ‘reactivity’ is something that develops over the first year of life in response to inadequate parenting. There are two ways in which parents can be ‘difficult’ for their babies: by being intrusive or neglectful. At the neglectful end you might have a mother who is depressed or withdrawn. Intrusiveness can occur when the mother is angry and can sometimes lead to abuse. Babies parents fail to read and respond to the signals the baby is sending.