“We are what our thoughts have made us; so take care about what you think. Words are secondary. Thoughts live; they travel far.” – Swami Vivekananda
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought.” – The Buddha
When encountering a troublesome thought pattern, Byron Katie suggests a 4-step process of self-questioning to challenge and transform habitual unhelpful ways of thinking:
- Is it true?
- Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
- How do you react (what happens) when you belief that thought? (Bring attention to physical sensations, feelings, posture, breathing)
- Who would you be without that thought? (We often have a strong attachment to destructive thought processes, even if they make us miserable. This question encourages us to let go of that attachment).
Optional extra: After these questions experiment with experiencing the opposite of the thought (a ‘turnaround’). For example, ‘I can’t do it’ might become ‘I can do whatever I put my mind to’…
When creating alternative thought patterns, it is important that the new thought resonates with you as real and authentic. Below is a list of common negative thought patterns. See if you can find a positive alternative to substitute for each one:
‘I’m not good enough’ becomes…
‘I don’t think I’ll ever’ becomes…
‘Nobody cares’ becomes…
‘I’m not strong enough’ becomes…
‘I should be better than I am’ becomes…
The weight and momentum of a whole lifetime of practice often lies behind our most ingrained negative thought patterns. Therefore, it requires a disciplined perseverance to change these patterns. Change comes though practising that very change you want to create, over and over again.