Throughout life we form beliefs about how we are and the way the world works, which, even if they are negative, give us a degree of safety and security that there is a predictability and order to things. We are often attached to negative beliefs about ourselves because they provide a measure of comfort, despite the fact that these beliefs may stunt our growth and limit our possibilities.
The damaging beliefs we hold about ourselves can lead to a perpetration of unhealthy and harmful patterns in our lives. Psychologist Leslie Becker Phelps explains:
“Psychologists use the term confirmation bias to describe the tendency of people to find ways to confirm their own beliefs. When people use this bias to confirm what they already believe about themselves (good or bad), psychologists call it self-verification verification. These processes operate mostly outside of awareness, so people can’t see how their beliefs cause them distress. It’s these unseen biased perceptions that cause people to repeat old patterns even when those patterns continually lead to pain and failure”.
According to Phelps, people then self-verify these beliefs in three particular ways:
1) Selective attention
People pay more attention to feedback that confirms their own belief and bias rather than taking in all the other evidence that contradicts it.
2) Selective memory
People remember information that is aligned with their belief about themselves. Often, they will not even process, let alone remember, information that clashes with the preconceptions they hold.
3) Selective interpretation
People uncritically view any information that supports their belief as evidence of its accuracy, while discounting any evidence that contradicts it as a mistake or deception. Any evidence that is absent or ambiguous is interpreted in such a way that supports their self-perceptions.
A lot of the beliefs we hold create a skewed perception and distorted view of reality. This bias that we carry in the form of a self-limiting belief is maintained by focusing on negative aspects of our experience and traits in ourselves which reinforce this belief. These biases narrow our perception such that we no longer see our positive traits and strengths that disprove our inaccurate and unhealthy beliefs about ourselves.
In order to counteract these patterns, we must first learn to recognise these biases in ourselves. Then we can begin to actively question their validity and start to formulate more accurate and helpful beliefs which naturally lead to action which supports positive growth. As we do this we may start to see evidence that support these new beliefs, which in turn reinforce them, and initiate an upward spiral of confidence in ourselves.
Beliefs, thoughts, and expectations are the lenses through which we see the world. When we change those lenses, we change the way we perceive ourselves and reality. New ways of perceiving things then open us up to new possibilities in our lives and fresh opportunities for growth and the fulfillment of our potential.